vivicidal | open rp / overflow

I live vicariously through the ones who took their lives, delving into what it means to be inhuman. The meticulous process helps curb a certain hunger that I have, one of the so-called demons that I should probably deal with at some point. [ Or rather, one of the demons that he lets loose when not in the lab. ]
Idle hands and so on and so forth.

Perhaps what you need is an island... or at the very least a moat.

[ Is he joking? For the most part. ]

Ahh, that is very, very tempting.
One of these days, I'll find myself in a wooded area just to see if I can seek you out.
Do you travel at all? Have you tested the theory of it being tied to a specific place?

Fair. These particular minds are the hardest to shake off, possibly even indelible. One might find comfort in them, or repulsion. Two sides of the same curated coin.

{After all intrusive thoughts exist naturally, and he knows this, but what threatens to lurk underneath is beyond it. It’s consuming. It becomes unconventionally natural far too easily.}

A memory palace. I have that. For an actual isolated castle, I know one in Lithuania I can take over. It’s free real estate right now.

{And his terrible sense of humor arises on occasion to match.}

You’re welcomed to try. Most just intrude, so it’ll be somewhat of a change. Florence has an air for attracting ‘artful’ murder. They certainly were there, some orchestrated. I was seeking someone, but the bizarre ended up finding me in other ways aside from circumstances. The jury still stands.

For sure, I've seen many come and go, especially during residency. For myself, I have yet to come across a case that has repulsed me. Comfort, satisfaction, you name it. I enjoy their works, whether it be planned or out of pure spontaneity.

[ Terrible or not, it still manages to pull a slight smirk. ]
Oh look at that, dreams can come true. What would you bet that people and death would still find you?

Artful murder, keep tempting me, why don't you? I should consider traveling, there's really nothing to keep me tied down in one place, and I'm sure I could find work just about anywhere. After all, there's never a shortage of clientele.

I once knew an orderly at the BSHCI. He would do anything for me, only because he thought I was the killer he admired when in fact I wasn’t. I just knew how to be. We all have our foolish moments. Some find enlightenment in them.

I’d wager eventually people would crawl over the high walls and find a way to fester. Someone always gets too curious.

Not everyone has the skill and consuming depth il monstro has. Art spawns creativity in crevices of horror only imaginable to a few. Many fall in the manner of distaste. { Part of him is slightly protective over Hannibal’s work, and another demands he falls. } Where would you go? Let me know if you do find a taste of my surreal, then we’ll truly know the haunt is not just with me.

So you exploited him... did he ever find out you weren't the killer he had admired?
Never mind, scratch that, what intrigues me the most is that you know how to be one... do you ever feel tempted to follow through?
I assume you'd know how to cover your tracks... know exactly what investigators would look for and such. Also considering the position you're in, it's highly unlikely that they'd deem you a suspect until they run out of leads. Perhaps not even then...

[ He speaks from his own experience... for a time, Peter needed to cover his tracks, especially after the explosion in the secluded wing that left him with no easy access to an incinerator.

Nowadays, that was no longer the case. ]

What I would give to examine a body... [ Allow him a few seconds of musing before he responds to the next question. ] I don't know for sure, wherever the road takes me. I have considered Norway at one point, the change in temperature would definitely be an adjustment.

He did, yet he still continued. I had to do what I had to do. Being framed is not simple. I’ve already done what are the makings of my nightmares, if that’s what you’re asking. So yes, in being in these sort of minds, I know what a person suit looks like, how it functions. More than ever now, I won’t fall in the trappings of another.

{ He’s reminded of the man in the cage Chiyoh kept to punish, until Will decided to release him and force her hand in killing him. It almost seems distant in sort of being possessed. What he did to him afterwards was for Hannibal, and he’s sure it might still be at the Lecter estate. A dragonfly meant to haunt a past, even if rotted. It’s a different feeling than Hobbs or Randall Tier. He was in a position to exercise what lurked underneath. It was a means to an end he’s not sure is truly done.

Above all, it’s a part of him that he’s sealed and Hannibal took the key with him. }

What would you aim to gain in examining a body? Norway has less people and more land. Not a bad choice.

I imagine not... even if innocence is proven, I presume many people still see you through those lenses.

How do you identify a 'person suit'? If you don't mind me asking. Can't be as easy as it sounds, can it?

To witness something so skillfully and beautifully crafted... experience for one. In piecing together the process that was enacted, gratification and knowledge.

People have seen me through those lenses even before. Perspectives are unpredictable when herded. Although, it does depend on the source.

A "person suit" is tailored so tightly it becomes nearly a second skin, except it will never be. It's crafted intricately to fit into its surroundings that it makes even the expert eye question themselves. Only a few can craft a nearly perfected one, meanwhile most eventually tend to fall apart. But really, are we not all wearing veils of some form?

You are either a great study, or you're too overt. It's how people started to shift their perspective of me.

Herd mentality... such a dangerous thing in the wrong hands. We have such an infinite amount of potential and yet we waste it on conformity.

[ Of course, Peter is just confident enough to count himself among those with one that is nearly perfected. And why wouldn't he? He has yet to come across an individual who could glimpse underneath without his consent. ] True enough. I suppose we all learn to hide certain aspects at one point or another in our lives.

No comment.
However, I see your point, it can become quite a dangerous game. If you're too good at your job, especially in this field, then people can begin to question.

It can be. You’ll certainly not find me joining the Hårga, but there is a fine line of what we show to the world and what is homegrown. It’s getting easier to fall for manipulations by the day.

{ The waste of conformity… That bit brings a slight grin on his face. He knows the irony of his own way of seeking it, although the other has always sought him. The part the questions how much he belongs to it is currently silent. He’s always in a cycle with the way out tightly sealed. There is the potential of breaking it, but it would probably be bloodier than he’d like or intends. }

It could also be too narrow to assume. There’s advantages and disadvantages at hand. It truly depends how someone uses them, and more importantly, if Achilles’ heel is carefully protected. We do all have one. Of course, only speaking hypothetically. Beating evidence is the obvious take.

Hårga? Can't say I've heard of it.

From individuals sure, but we're already falling to manipulations on the daily, especially where media is involved. If it's not an outright lie, then they're directing attention.

[ And by 'we', he means the general public, of course. The news rarely catches his attention, and his online presence is fairly small. ]

Funny, my old professor used to encourage it. We'd all perform our basic examinations, and provide our speculations before the testing began. [ He's almost sure that's how the after-hours 'games' began among a small group of pathologists. ]

Tell me something, can you pinpoint when perspectives began to shift?

Just your casual cult manipulation. I’d say it’s one the easiest forms to prey on people.

I’m not surprised. We will always have the type of curiosity that won’t be able to look away, no matter if the horror is staring right at us. There’s comfort in it, in the already dead, and in knowing what happened to them. Makes it easier to detach for some. We always have to know, even if we don’t want it.

Also… yes and no.

{ It costs him his sanity, but he always gets there. Will might as well be following a red thread, one bloodied and made to have an end somewhere. No matter how long, if he decided to follow it, he could get there. The more direct answer is: }

I can’t see it all, but I can sense it. Eventually. You just have to be a great fisherman, and I happen to be one. However, that does not omit me from falling prey to the same beasts. I often do.

Ahh yes, feeding into Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

A way to confront fear for some while still feeling some level of safety. The psychology behind it is rather interesting, I'm no expert but I dabble from time to time.
A handful of us turned that concept into a sort of competitive game... at one point, I believe someone was keeping track. To this day, I still practice those habits.

[ It's not a lie but he's not exactly providing the whole truth... in reality, the game revolved around committing the perfect murder. ]

I take it that's the reason you're... "taking it easy"?

Preying on the already fallen is weak. Why not go after those that could devour others? It’s not far fetch why I got honey trapped into criminology. I tried being a cop in New Orleans, and that’s some power tripping that is too distasteful. I like to have agency when I can, but not to take it away from those that can’t help their disposition.

Do you still keep in contact with any of them?

{ It could be the swell of righteousness he has left, or that he truly finds the beasts in the woods far more tempting. }

Mostly. Turns out empathizing with killers isn’t a breezy walk in the park. I probably should have read the fine print, but I continue to survive out of spite, for now.

Power is an addiction, really. Like a drug addiction, it activates the same circuitry in the brain. If cults were to recruit other people with power, they could easily threaten their entire regime.

No... most of them are dead now, there was an explosion in a secluded wing. All except one, there's speculation that he rigged the place to blow, but of course, they can't question him because he's missing now. No doubt on the run.

[ There's no sense of mourning behind his words, nor remorse or shame for his involvement. Quite the opposite really, possibly even an overwhelming sense of relief that he wasn't suspected in the least. Dr. Gallo's survival of the explosion worked perfectly in Peter's favor. It was easy to pin it all on him before the vivisection and cremation of his body. It's almost amusing to Peter that law enforcement is still on the lookout for him. ]

For now... what will you do when you can no longer survive?

That's familiar. There's either a sense of quietude or rage in power. Co-dependency is also another means of a weapon, and arguably the actual power once secured. Some animals can't live alone for long, or they die. Humans have this annoying simplicity of eventually requiring company. Some of us just mediate it with seven dogs.

It almost seems ideal for that person to disappear. I can imagine it could be a relief. At least, I'd find it so, to be able to fade in any manner I wanted.

{ He has to think about the question a bit. Inwardly reflect on what he'd answer. His response does take some time, probably an hour later than the last one. It's simple, frustratingly vague, but it encompasses more than he can admit. }

I'd imagine I'll finally fade.

I hoped I was immune to that eventuality, but in light of the fact that I'm considering a feline companion... well. [ Peter doesn't bother finishing his sentence, it's easy enough to construe. ]

True. Especially for someone without any real ties... I don't know enough about his familial relations, but I think it's safe to assume that they were basically non-existent. [ Hell, if he did have family, they certainly didn't come looking or entertain interviews from any news outlets. ] And the only person who maybe gave a shit about him died in the explosion.

[ When the next message appears, Peter narrows his eyes at the screen as he recalls his previous comment. However, the response given is still left wide open to interpretation. ]

Interesting answer.

Ah, and so we all fall eventually. Maybe you’ll end up with quite the bond. They do have that effect.

Maybe he’s dead, maybe not. Familiar or really any connection wouldn’t matter. It happened. More than anything, it’s a rebirth, abide some consider it selfish if done outright, but circumstances do matter. Some people have no choice. Meanwhile, some of us are better left alone in begotten shadows. Still existing, just not at forefront.

{ On occasion, he can give more, so he decides to slightly elaborate, considering he expresses best in feelings more than anything. The kind you can explain, but the source remains flexible to interpret. }

It’s like when people want to flee to Paris. It’s an urge, but many don’t. Nothing deep about it.

Maybe.
In a sense, I suppose I've already fallen if you consider casual sex.
Short-term company?

I'd like to assume he's dead... he is, after all, a narcissistic asshole and I find it hard to believe he'd remain hidden for this long. Any attention even cast in a negative light would've been his downfall. Or perhaps, he's waiting for the perfect opportunity... he does like to make a big show of things.

Based on the little information I know about you, I would count you among the few.

I suppose that’s a way. We all fall in many ways. It depends on what you get out of it. Sex and romance separate for me, so I can see the appeal in temporary fixes. Although, long term ones can be lacking as well. Time isn’t a factor. I’m not sure I’m capable of forming a full bond, but I’m still particular on who I let into my bed.

{ It’s all half truths, but he settles for them. }

Peacocks. Eventually they have to spread those feathers. I’m trying to move away from that. Makes it better to not think about them. Burn the letters, or burn their memory from your mind. I don’t know. I find making a show without substance to be irrelevant. Irrelevancy ends narcissists.

Possibly. I did sail my boat for months out in the ocean. It was freeing enough.

For me as well. In the end, all I really get out of it is a carefree, superficial connection through substantial and gratifying physicality. I had my chance at a once-in-a-lifetime romance, it ran its course. [ If he was honest with himself, he would probably realize it was a form of compulsive avoidance. ] High standards or what? What does the elusive Will look for?

You are right about that... I'll have to work on it.

[ However, it was difficult for Peter to move past hating a man that was already dead. Before his death, Gallo targeted his fiancée in retaliation. It was a messy revenge-fest, but eventually ended... mostly in Peter's favor. ]

Next time, consider taking me with you.

That is the ideal. It’s not that I have high standards. I really don’t. I can’t truly have superficial, even if it’s one night. I will always feel something stacked and not mine. It’s a deep glimpse of someone without the full picture. So really, it depends on how masochist I am, since I tend to attract the kind to induce it. Although, I can get a nice person. I’m not allergic to them.

{ More poor jokes. He knows it sounds bizarre. How else can he even describe empathetic sex? Or really how he’s had it. It’s not something he has even bothered to try and figure out. He just lets it happen. Sex is manageable, a grasp of control, since he gets a choice to partake. Meanwhile, relationships mean he’s not sure how long he’d last. No one else can see him how Hannibal has done, or so he believes. Was it a dark romantic? Erotic? Fucked? It was something, and it left him more scorned. }

I’m capable of being wrong. I have been. Only time will tell.

It really is stunning, especially at night. I have been rebuilding another boat, but when it’s done, you’re welcome to join me for a ride. You have to try it before you decide if you like it.

Oh. Truthfully, I understand the concept more than the average person. Superficial to an extent, yes, but I wasn't about to try and describe that one. From personal experience, I find it easier not to get into those details.

[ He knows exactly how bizarre it sounds - in his particular case, in order to learn how to control his power to recall, he also had to learn how to tune certain things out. He doesn't quite have the same issue anymore, but that doesn't exactly make him immune. ]

I mean it makes perfect sense. I just need to get into that headspace.

Without light pollution, I imagine so. I've been in the city far too long. A test ride is preferable, it has been more than a few years since I last out on the ocean.

Understandable. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I do tend to overshare sometimes. Comes with years of having to foretell the details of others.

{ To an extent he cherry picks what to share. His range is from reserved to widely open. After all, his imaginative imagery is what shapes his obscene world, and colors only bleed continuously as he can’t forget. Most people will be put off, even by the slight of a short comment. It’s less subtle now, but it’s still a way to be off putting. Yet, he continues to seek. Unbeknownst, he really is full of contradictions. }

All I can give is a good luck to that.

It’s incredible. You have to trust your senses for the first hour, adjust to the darkness. Once you do, it’s a whole other view. From the sky to the sounds. It’s my preferred time. Did you enjoy the ocean back then?

Not exactly what I meant but that's fine. I really don't think you could make me feel uncomfortable even if you tried, but I've been wrong before. Or maybe 'uncomfortable' isn't quite the word I would use, I'm not sure.

Much needed, truthfully.

I did enjoy it, I was fairly young. The first time out was in my mid-teens, there was definitely a bit of motion sickness for the first while but I eventually got used to it. The sky is what I look forward to the most, it's just not the same no matter where I go on land.

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